Monthly Archives: September 2015

The Benefits of Being an Adoptee (This post is a “re-run” from 2013, but not many people saw it then.)

THE BENEFITS OF BEING AN ADOPTEE

My adoption memoir, Akin to the Truth, contains some universal themes, which appeal and are relatable to all teenagers, adopted or not. (Pre)junior high through high school is the period of time when young people observe more and begin to analyze and form attitudes and concepts about their personal lives and the world in general.  Often these notions lack perspective and life experience, however the young person’s belief system still contains value and meaningfulness because their feelings and how they deal with them are parts of becoming mature. For me, being an adoptee added an extra dimension of self-doubt and lack of confidence.

The purpose of this memoir was not intended to be a complaint-fest, however, it does reflect my point of view at the time. My observation is that there are a lot of sad adoptees out there.  Not all, but a lot. I was fearful, lacked trust and was tremendously self-conscious, and those feelings held me back from developing many skills and relationships back in the day. I wasn’t sad, but I did feel unsatisfied and flawed.

Akin To The Truth is intended to show that a person, adopted or not, can overcome many obstacles with persistence and support from key people in life, whether they be family, friends, teachers, coaches, colleagues or even famous people you don’t know but admire. Embrace your heroes, the everyday or the celebrity-type. Let their positive qualities work on you.

Akin to the Truth reflects a time in the past.  Today I have the advantage of looking back and realizing what pluses adoption did provide that I could not have recognized back then:

  • Being adopted has made me very selective about whom I’ve chosen as my best friends.  As a result, mine are top-notch.
  • Being adopted causes me to study faces and mannerisms, noting similarities between biologically-related persons. I’m not staring and being weird. I’m impressed by the miracles of life and how DNA plays out.
  • Being adopted makes me view the concept of Family  globally.
  • Being adopted makes me inclined to question everything. I may or may not openly challenge everything I am told, but I assume very little. I look before I leap.
  • As a kid, being adopted helped my imagination soar because I wondered who else had a secret identity, and what was it. I was a creative kid, which made me better at art and writing.
  • Being adopted gave me a special bond with every pet I ever owned plus the pets of many friends and family members. So many pets are adopted from large group settings or by random chance. I feel lots of compassion for homeless animals and much respect for those who rescue them.
  • Being adopted is part of what makes me strive to be the best parent possible to my kids. I never take the time I spend with my girls for granted. I feel bad for the birth/ bio-parents who were forced by society, negative circumstances and controlling institutions to relinquish children. I know the ones who did and do it by choice believe(d) on some level that they were/are doing it to provide a better life for their baby.
  • Being adopted makes me appreciate being alive. I respect all life, (with the exception of some really nasty, creepy insects). I’m glad I was born!  Life is good.
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