She Has My Hands!

My daughter gave birth to my first grandbaby on Wednesday very early in the AM, the day before Thanksgiving. I saw the whole thing happen, and I feel honored to have been a part of the “team” who facilitated the arrival of this beautiful, precious miracle. We have much to be thankful for, and it is a birth story our family will be regaling in for years to come.

The umbilical cord was wrapped twice around my granddaughter ’s tiny neck, (not tightly), but the heart rate monitor told us she was fine. The doctor quickly unfurled her as she slipped forth into the actual world and placed the infant in my daughter’s arms. The baby grunted first, then cried out.

No sound is sweeter! No sound is more perfect.

When the professionals took the baby to the examining table and warming lamp for measurements and Apgar testing I followed with my camera and snapped some amazing photos. My granddaughter fussed a little. (Who wouldn’t when you have a bunch of strange people looking at your naked, vulnerable presence on a flat, white surface with big lights and instruments) and my inner adoptee brain said, “ Birth is traumatic regardless, so let’s reduce the trauma somehow.”

I reached for her hand and began to talk.

Actually, I babbled with sleepless and shameless delight, but who cares?  I talked to my grandbaby girl and told her she was OK; that she was beautiful and loved by everybody. She was fine. Her mommy and daddy were fine. Everything in her life was fine. I repeated those words over and over. She looked over at me and fixed on my voice and whatever her newborn eyes could see and relaxed instantly. She knew me! She must have!

I took her little hand in mine, and her fingers curled tightly around my index finger. Her digits were dainty, long and slender but very strong.46508750_10161009548305459_7629862672376266752_n.jpgIMG_4028.jpeg

She had my hands!

Oh my God! She has my hands!

She has my mani!  (I said it in a funny way, but it was true.)

I saw something of ME in my newborn granddaughter.

I am an adoptee who’s been fortunate enough to have birthed and raised my biological daughters, and now get to see my grandchild…another biological relative….and this kid has my nails, knuckles, and fingers! That’s not happened before.

All my sisters and daughters have shorter fingers and small hands. Mine look like Kobe Bryant’s by comparison. My grandbaby has my hands!



I know her body will change some as she grows and develops muscle tone and more bone density, but I saw a piece of ME in her I’d never seen before!

I’ve inserted another missing puzzle piece. (I’ve been in reunion for over 30 years, and I had no idea I still had missing parts.)IMG_4040.jpeg

I’m swooning.

I’m relishing.

I’m delighting.

I’m connecting.

I’m thanking G-d, The Force, my Ancestors,  the Universe, Spirit, etc.

I’m in awe and in love.

I’m a grandma!

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  • Dezi B  On November 25, 2018 at 11:31 pm

    I can’t wait to experience this someday. From a fellow adoptee another, congrats 🎊 💟

  • Anne Arthur  On November 26, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Congratulations! From one grandma to another: YES, it’s such a wonderful experience seeing a piece of us in our grandchildren. Nothing is sweeter than becoming a grandma. It surpasses even our own children’s birth. Continuity in our life-line. Amazing! Enjoy your little one and bathe in the feeling that miracles happen through your offspring.

  • Sophi Fletcher  On November 26, 2018 at 7:15 pm

    Finding any piece of our puzzle is a big deal. I’m thrilled for you!! I have a photo of my hand next to that of my maternal auntie, where I finally saw where my small hands with a curved index finger came from! Most people wouldn’t care, but to folks like you and me, it’s huge. Mirroring….mazel tov!! ❤

  • Starr W  On November 28, 2018 at 4:10 am

    Congratulations Paige from a fellow adoptee who’s daughter also made me a grandma for the first time on October 30th. My granddaughter is four weeks old today ❤

    I find happiness in my heart knowing that my daughter, and now my granddaughter, will never lose their connection to me. Come hell or high water…I would do everything in my power to make sure that never happens.

    I hope my life's legacy will be to provide the familial stability, longevity and consistency in their lives that I never had.

    Blessings to you and your growing family tree…so fulfilling isn't it ❤

  • jenbobenny  On November 29, 2018 at 2:20 am


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