Book Review of Togethermore Rejection and Reunion, by Roderick Edwards

Togethermore Rejection and Reunion is simple, concise, and a very quick read. It is the story of an Indiana man who interestingly describes what many adoptees label “the Fog”  in a unique way: “a state of virtual amnesia for fifty years”. The reader does not learn much about how Roderick grew up regarding his adoptee experience. (Perhaps because the author does not have many positive things to say.) Instead, the story takes you right into the moment when he receives his OBC in the mail a year after he and his wife decided to take DNA tests. He builds a family tree based on the sketchy information he does have and finds a nephew who puts him in touch with a sibling who, in turn, connects him with his other siblings.

The rest of the book tells in detail about Roderick’s critical and life-changing first year in reunion as he meets an elderly aunt, sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews. (AKA “niblings“) Roderick’s emotions soar through the understandable spectrum of instant elation, never wanting to separate from the family again to, as the author puts it, “…trying on a suit that doesn’t fit”. Many times he feels torn between two unique worlds: his constructed, traditional family via marriage and his very large and diverse biological relatives. Roderick does a good job of explaining how prior to searching, some adopted people have perhaps constructed a biological or birth family of a certain image, which does not pan out in reality. This can be a good or a bad coping strategy, but it is important for those searching for important people to be aware that reality and imagination do not tend to match perfectly.

Togethermore reads fast and is relatable and understandable. It could be a great resource for adoptees, especially for those who are beginning to gather facts and search tools.  As more states open up records, there will hopefully be more people searching for their first past, and this little book might be very handy because it is realistic, contemporary and easy to absorb in one sitting.

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