Tag Archives: adoption

Happy Anniversary, Ohio Adoptees!

About a year ago, an assorted group of adoptees plus birth family members and many professionals in the adoption field and Ohio’s state government, gathered together in Columbus for an historic event of a lifetime. It was affectionately named, Opening Day.

 

Thanks to the dedicated work of advocate, Betsie Norris from Adoption Network Cleveland, and Ohio senators Bill Beagle and Dave Burke, their “masterpiece”, Senate Bill 23, upgraded an antiquated state law, which banned adoptees from access to their OBCs. (Original or unammended Birth Certificates). The new and improved law allows adopted adults to gain their adoption records and OBCs in most cases. Specifics regarding this new law are here:

https://www.odh.ohio.gov/en/vitalstatistics/legalinfo/adoptfnl.aspx

 

I attended this two-day event with some adoptee colleague-author/ friends of mine: Lynn Grubb and Becky Conrad Drinnen. The three of us all have our OBCs because we were all born and adopted prior to January 1964, but we came in support of others in the adoptee community and to celebrate greater unification of the adoption constellation. We walked in the drizzly morning weather with our fellow adoptees to the Vital Records building and celebrated at the Columbus State Building downtown. The sun broke free and temperatures warmed as Senate Bill 23 came to life.

 

Personally, my journey to Columbus was joyful and allowed me to revisit the excitement and wonder from the time when I also began my adoption search and first held my original paperwork. There is something very liberating, enlightening and magical about knowing yourself, and I am delighted for the close to 400,000 adopted people and their families touched by this new law.

 

This spring, we adoptees have an anniversary coming up! Thanks again to Adoption Network Cleveland, whose efforts to educate and unite the community never stop, there will be an ANC weekend conference – the Annual Adoption Gathering on March 18 to 20, 2016. It will take place at the Doubletree in Westlake, OH, 44145.

 

The purpose is to (re)connect members in the adoption constellation, celebrate our successes, process our concerns and to understand that being adopted is a lifelong experience. It doesn’t just go away because we now have paperwork. It doesn’t leave us once we find or reunite with birth family. For many adopted people and their significant others, the “What do we do now?” stage is also significant and needs to be addressed.

 

ANC succinctly promotes the activities – “We will be offering nine breakout session options and two award-winning theatrical presentations from New York City. Other highlights include – filmmaker Jean Strauss and footage from last year’s Ohio opening day events, Six-Word Stories from adoptees and found birth family members, and a time for sharing with an open mic.”

 

Here are more details: http://bit.ly/ancAnnualGatheringDetails

gatheringFB-overall3The event hashtags –

#OHadopteesSOAR (SOAR = Success Opening Adoptees’ Records)

#Journey2Unite16 –

 

Is an Adoptee a “Gift”?

Recently I read a blog post from a birth/first mother/ author I’ve been following for a few years, Denise Rossele. While I was writing my first memoir, Akin to the Truth, I read her book, Second-Chance Mother because I needed the perspective of a birth mom. (Mine is no longer living, and I wanted to find a way to connect and learn.) Denise is realistic yet upbeat and shows compassion and respect for all sides of the adoption community, therefore I value her opinion on adoption-related topics. She recently happened into a conversation about adopting children and what a “gift” adopted children are.

Hmmm…

I am not a gift. I’m a person. What’s so troubling and triggering about the word, “gift” in relation to adoption is that often we think of gifts as items. We give gifts for birthdays, weddings and holidays. We buy gifts at Macy’s, Target and Amazon.com, and we bring them home in the car or have them arrive on our doorstep via UPS. Occasionally we down-load our gifts.

Using the term “gift”, as in the “gift of adoption” reduces adopted human beings to parcels of property, given and gained through transaction and trade.

I think of my children, instead as a blessing. I also have the blessings of other family, my marriage, a home, good friends and even our family cats and dogs. My work is a blessing. No one else had to endure a loss or defeat financially or emotionally in order for me to have my blessings.

“Gift” isn’t a bad word. I’m sure the person who used that bit of language with Denise did not intend to be condescending or insulting. The lady who said it was not thinking that while adoption is a wonderful gain for some people, for others it’s a heart-breaking and bittersweet loss/ sacrifice for someone else, (Birth family).

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t use the word “gift”. (The LAST thing I want to be is the Word-Police, and goodness knows that certain sectors of the adoption community have enough of those types.) What I am saying is that we should be mindful about what we say and around whom. Open-door comments such as: “What was that like for you?”, “Tell me about your experience” and “What is it like for you now?” go a long way and invite sharing and understanding.

As a community, our perspectives are diverse and often intense. Not only do we need to educate the general public about what we believe to be true and why, but we also need to educate  and support one another. It’s an on-going thing as we all begin to speak out more.

If you are interested in Denise’s side of the story, here is a link to her blog:

http://www.secondchancemother.com/disappointing-moment/

Akin to the Truth: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity

Akin to the Truth: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity

This is my book cover. Links to purchase are:

Apple iBooks:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/akin-to-the-truth/id711164304?ls=1
Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Akin-Truth-Memoir-Adoption-Identity/dp/0989948811/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1380459942&sr=1-1&keywords=akin+to+the+truth

Akin to the Truth: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity

This is the renamed memoir name now!  My more “official” site is:

http://www.akintothetruth.com.  You can check out everything about the book over there.  It is published in three formats: Amazon Kindle, print and Apple iBooks.  My next task is to continue with the marketing publicity.

P.